miss independent

at first, i didn't want to write this because i wanted my first blog of 2011 to be more uplifting. but it's been weighing on my mind for a few days now. last night only confirmed my thoughts. so i knew this just had to be it.
i must admit, for me to be so "independent" i am so relying on others. i always want to be with some ONE. my ladies, my boyfriend even as far as my dog. needing some other organism around me. but now more so, i want to learn to be ALONE. completely. just myself and my thoughts. learning new things, creating new hobbies, keeping organized, keeping connected to my love of fashion & volleyball, and self-satisfaction. i feel if i can accomplish this, i can be my greatest self.
yes, i've accomplished a few goals. but where's my hustle? my drive? my go-getta attitude i had all my life?
where did this shelled me come from? listening to my friend Amber talk about her hustle, "fuck these niggas" attitude and her self-improving attitude, gave me my drive back. she helped me see what i've been struggling to see for so long "it's all about Y O U". she stressed how i'm too grown. never cry over spilled milk, meaning:

• no man!
• no job
• no let down!

i use to be so wrapped up in my boyfriend, it usually being about HIM and US, but never ME. giving up what i love to do to be with him. so worried about him and what every other guy might think of me. instead of me simply not caring. i'm not saying he forced me, and he isn't a bad boyfriend. it was my OWN choice. but he's obviously been doing his thing, keeping himself tight and right. why should i stop my own tight&right quest?

• hair
• nails&toes
• bartending <3
• gym!!
• make up artistry <3333
• waitressing
• relationship with God
• learning french, spanish & italian.

self-improvement! it's more than a resolution. it's a way of life. Missy J is BACCKK to stay!
thank you to my strong&powerful girls. i love you ladies. and no matter where you go, you'll ALWAYS be in my heart. i'll always be a phone call away and i love traveling. <3
Jazz. Indy. Jour. Amber. Cryss. Candice.